Ticking time bomb.

Well well, 8 more days to go and I'm sheltering beside the heat of a PC.

amazing.

Crammed history facts in my cerebrum are defying my logic.
(I have no idea what that meant)

i'm just waiting.
to get the hell out of here
and suffocate in freedom
with polluted KL air filling my lungs to the brim
and the tensed LRT riders accompanying me
for the three weeks post-SPM.

but for now,
I have to concentrate on the pluses.

just you wait for me, darlings.

Big Ben/Eiffel Tower.

Clarification:

My brother did not go along with my parents to the land of gloomy skies and a cup of tea.
And they also went to Paris.

i am officially envious.

Souvenirs:
London buses keychain.
Eiffel Tower keychain.
Mailbarrel chocolates.
A Harrods bag.
Madame Figaro.
Wicked t-shirt.

and

Freud's Civilisation and It's Discontents and On Murder, Mourning and Melancholia.

life is good.

16 days left,
and revelation happened.

yes, people do care(surprisingly).

Grains of sand in a desert lone.

Been long since I did something with the blog.
Not much to tell, really:

The oh-so productive government had added more sting to the pain in my ass: Afrigging+.
There's 18 days left to the big exam.
I, as always, am not fully prepared.
My life is still as shitty as the second last post had poetically stated.
But due to that, I had been writing again. An effed up life seems to be a grest inspiration. And also a certain past accquaintance (is this how do you spell it?)(to the unconcerned, please feel no slight pinch to thy unclaimed heart) did let me cough up some of what used to be a good memory of the spent time and encrypted those in my essay.
Old habits do die hard.
I also lost my calculator 20 days prior to the exam.
And I found out that my sisters will be enjoying This Is It and The Time Traveller's Wife tonight. Oh, whatta joy.
Jealousy is etched within me, so, beware to any potential lovers (not saying that I have one, want one nor need one; this is a personal joke to entertain my inner child) I can be very, very jealous but being a passive, fearful idiot, I shall do absolutely nothing about it.
Tomorrow's 31st. I want my Baskin Robbins.

okay?

Bedazzle.

cantik sangat.
;)

Nonexistent.

Pardon the emo post okay?
Been having a grey cloud hovering over my head lately.

---

I'm losing my friends(or people who I thought were my friends)
one by one.

It's like losing your anatomy;

first, the right leg.
then, the ears.
followed by the right arm.
and now, the eyes.

am just waiting the perfect moment to lose the brain,
which, I think, would be sooner than I would want to realize.

it affects an enormous chunk of my life;

my brain in haywire.
my inner is just a mess of drunkard emotions and numbing drugs.

i am just a shell of what I used to be.
and i don't think this affects them any more than it does me.

they're living an entirely different life.
and they should,
being with a disparate crowd,
smiling their smiles,
laughing their laugh,

after harsh, abusive me with my wandering hands and sharp, dismissive tongue.

tell me something:
am i that bad?

and now i just feel
useless.

is it my imagination
or are people throwing dirty looks at me?

not dirty, really,
just downgrading.

like i'm just a lowly speck of dust,
not worthy of presence, of life
withering time and age.

like i'm lower than low,
lower than dust,
an insignificant particle.

like i'm so worthless.